Fix Me Right This Time
by Inky Cx
Summary: "I have something better for us this time. Take look inside my twisted mind. It's not my fault I'm like this, we're products of these places."


**Yay I'm back. As I'm procrastinating on updating ITB I wrote this, whatever this is. Songfic, yay. I don't know. I was bored, listening to music, the usual and then this happened because well, I like this song. That's how I get like a lot of my ideas; lyrics. Deal with it. If not, click that little back arrow :3 Thanks xD **

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything to do with Matt, Mello or Death Note. Or the song _Dr. Doctor _by _Ghost Town_ either.

_"Take take take take my breath away,_  
_Cause I've got nothin else that I can say._  
_It's time we showed our faces,_  
_Got real and travel places."_

You have this effect on me Mello. You always seem to take my breath away when I'm around you. Every. Single. Time. I don't know what it is, nobody else can do this to me. It's just you Mello. You alone have this almighty power that renders me speechless. You take the words right out of my mouth. Either that or you put words into my mouth for me. I don't even need to do any work. When I'm around you I have nothing else to say, just being around you is enough. No words needed.

It's time we showed our true selves. Although I don't think there is much hidden. We know mostly everything about each other. Once I finally found you I found out your job; head mafia leader. I think that explains enough. I haven't told you yet about me. What I went though at Wammy's once you left. My battles; which I fought alone. I haven't told you how dark that time was for me. I felt ditched, dejected, unwanted, useless and that's only the beginning. Mello, to sum it up, you knew me before you left and after I found you, not in between. That's a whole different story.

Its time we got real. Choose if we're serious about this or not. I hope that's a yes because I don't think I could live without you again. I had to climb back up from the depths of hell to get to where I am today. I'm not going back. We need to decide whats happening; our choices.

_"I have something better for us this time._  
_Take look inside my twisted mind._  
_It's not my fault I'm like this,_  
_We're products of these places."_

I have something better planned, Mello. This time I'm coming with you. Wherever you go, I'll follow. I'm not loosing you again. It already happened once and I barely made it back alive from that, I don't think a second time would work out well in my favour. I'll do whatever I need to remain at your side. Lie, steal, kill, whatever I takes. I mean it. Don't take this lightly. I won't let you escape my grasp once again.

It's not my fault I'm this desperate. That's your fault. My twisted mind; It's been broken, moulded and healed into something new. Something darker, something scarier, something ruthless. I'll stop at nothing to get what I want. I refuse to drift back down to that lonely time when you left me. So I shall rise to the challenge. This new mindset it a product is a place that you put me in when you promptly left, and my determination to got to back there. You can't get rid of me that easily now Mello. Times have changed.

_"Oh, Doctor fix me right this time._  
_Doctor, I'm better than a 'flatline'."_

Fix me right this time? What's broken? There's nothing left to fix here. I did the best I could with what I had. I never said it healed perfectly, there may be bumps and scars, but it's healed. There's nothing you could do, it's fully healed, just not properly. If you wanted to fix me properly you'd have to break me all over again and trust me, that's not happening anytime soon.

I'm better than a "flatline". I figured that one out for myself. People may tell me that I'm not, but really I'm done with all this bullshit. I'm done. I've been pushed around, lied to, left behind, everything. Thanks Mello, but I will not be treated that way anymore. I'm tired of it. I'll stand up for what I deserve, I'm your equal now. Don't you forget it.

_"I'm not a waste._  
_Turn my back on that place_  
_Where I've made my mistakes._  
_The ghost in my soul,_  
_Is reaching for more._  
_I just gotta say one more thing."_

I left Wammy's and my past behind. I screwed up there. I know it, even though it wasn't entirely my fault. Alright? But I'm done, I'm moving on. Flipping the page in the book, if you wanna go all poetic. I'm flipping the fucking page. I'm moving on from all the mistakes made. Wether they be mine or yours and don't flatter yourself Mello, you made some pretty major mistakes too. Like...shall I say...leaving me. Anyways, right, I'm moving on.

I'm not done here. This life, this planet, this existence. I'm here for a reason and I don't believe I'm done quite yet. I could have had my chance to lose it all, Mello. I hope you realized that. I hope you realize just how much it hurt. How damn bad this all was for me, but I decided I wasn't done. I still have something left to do. I have to say one more thing. I will get my way.

_"This damn girl pretends to be what she's not._  
_A liar, a cheat, a phony, a fraud._  
_Don't take it from me, just be who you are."_

I believe it's: "This damn Mello pretends to be what he's not." Mello, you're a liar. I believed for the longest time that you loved me. You told me every morning with a kiss. I love you, three fucking words that can ruin your life. You weren't who I thought you were at all. I thought you were this kind, caring, loving, best friend. I thought you were my fucking _boyfriend, _for crying out loud. You even said so, but would a boyfriend get up in the middle of the night and leave without even as much as a note? That's my point. You clearly weren't who I thought you to be. You fraud.

Now I'm back Mello. I've somehow managed to forgive you, my twisted mind allowed it. You better be thankful. I'm back for round two and I'm not taking any of this bull from you anymore. I want you to be who you are. Even if you're a sick, twisted, cruel person. I want to see you, see if I can actually stand to be around you. We'll go from there.

_"Don't don't don't call me maybe._  
_I don't play those games._  
_Don't don't don't call me shady._  
_It's all just the same."_

I'm here now so don't play any games. I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon, you can't go fooling me. I don't want to be just a piece of your game. I'm not your pawn, Mello. I refuse to get pushed around anymore. Don't just call me maybe, just do it. You can't get rid of me that easily. I've changed, for better or for worse, I can't tell yet, but I'm stronger now. Damn right I am.

_"It's time to take this feeling of a heart-attack,_  
_Built up from my broken past,_  
_Find something that's gonna last._  
_I'm reaching out for something more._  
_I just gotta say one more thing."_

As I've stated before, I'm moving on from my past. Walking right on past it. I'll take this feeling in the pit of my stomach and leave it here on the side of the road. I'll find something that's worth it. Something that will last for as long as I need it too. I just need to find something more. Now Mello, listen close, I got something else to say. Just one more fucking thing.

_"The ghost in my soul,_  
_Is reaching for more._  
_I'll live through another day."_

I'm reaching for my goal. My goal; to not get swept away again, to remain on the same level as you, to one day surpass you, Mello. You better watch out. It may have been easy to take advantage of me earlier, to use me, but this is the hard level. Like on a video game, you completed the easy level, aced it I might say. I was broken for a long time. Now is the hard level, we're skipping medium. Let's see how you do. This way, with my new mindset, I might just succeed. With this thought, I'll be able to make it through another day.

**So yeah. Just something I wrote at like 10 at night and only took about an hour to write. I don't even know. Review, I guess? Thanks :)**


End file.
